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The Heights

The News Site of Boston College

The Heights

The News Site of Boston College

The Heights

NCAA Applauds Itself for Providing Free Toilet Paper to Student Athletes

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
NCAA President Mark Emmert announced on Wednesday that the organization would provide complimentary toilet paper in the dorm rooms of collegiate athletes.

2017 Football Season Opener to Be at FirstEnergy Stadium

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
*This story is part of The Depths, a collection of humorous, fictional portrayals of campus life, written in the spirit of April Fools' Day. Some names of "sources" have been changed to maintain ambiguity and humor.

Football and Men’s Basketball Shocked to Find Out Last Place Means Nothing

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
The BC football and men’s basketball coaches received a big surprise this week, learning their last-place finishes in the ACC would result in 0 draft picks.

Nova Scotian Art Exhibit in the Devlin Maintenance Closet Captures the Exquisite Culture of Southeastern Canada

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
Nestled between the mop used to clean the floor last night and a few dirty buckets, a cultural treasure can be found in the first-floor maintenance closet of Devlin Hall.

Boy Spotted Reading ‘The Heights’

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
After a long day of classes and aggressively punctuated texts from his mom, Jake Paniniterini, CSOM ’19, walked into McElroy Commons and sat down to read the latest issue of The Heights.

Student Whose Life Wasn’t Changed on Appa Admitted for Psych Evaluation

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
Ross Jordan, MCAS ’19, was admitted to St. Elizabeth’s for a psychological evaluation after not declaring that his life was changed by his Appa experience.

No One Opts for 2000, ResLife Re-Evaluates

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
BC ResLife has announced that the newly redesigned building 2000 Comm. Ave. would include the old pool and access to balconies in the apartments.

Correction: Fictional ‘Depths’ Story on Boloco

The Heights April 1, 2016
The Heights regrets any harm caused by the fictional Boloco story.

Student Immediately Ascends to Heaven after PULSE

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
Mary DuPont, MCAS ’18, stunned onlookers when she swiftly flew up to heaven after completing the last four hours at her PULSE placement.

Newton Freshman Found Living in 90 Study Room for Three Months

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
Kyle McFling, LSOE ’19, had been hiding out in a 90 St. Thomas More Rd. study room since the beginning of spring semester.

‘Club Kirk’ Will be Converted to On-Campus Housing in September

an unpaid undergraduate writer April 1, 2016
The University recently announced that it has purchased the property at 62/64 Kirkwood Rd. in Brighton and will convert its 10 beds to on-campus housing.
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