I have a LinkedIn, and it feels apocalyptic. For those who don’t know, LinkedIn is the social networking website for professional development. Unlike other social media platforms like Facebook or X, LinkedIn unpretentiously admits in its vision statement that it seeks to provide economic opportunity for its users—not social utility.

“And how would you like that prepared?” I ask with a gleaming smile. She pauses, shutters, and lets out an impatient yet staunch, “Cooked please.” I fight the urge to crumble as my stomach drops.

Boston College will now provide LinkedIn Learning, an online “skill-building platform” offered by the networking website LinkedIn, to all students, faculty, and staff.