In light of Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston’s one-half suspension for yelling obscenities from atop a table in the student union, accomplished sandwich rankers Austin Tedesco and Connor Mellas have compiled a list of phrases BC athletes could scream in Lower to receive a similar punishment.

• Doug Flutie had his eyes closed.

• Frank Spaziani is the real King of the Dudes.

• Jerry York should go back to Bowling Green.

• Andre Williams is soft.

• Brad Bates uses Rogaine.

• UConn fans are actually quite pleasant.

• Does anyone even care about the stupid Beanpot?

• Steve Addazio is not a family man.

• These Under Armour backpacks are trash.

• BU Hockey players are really just misunderstood.

• I hope Sonny Milano has a great season in the OHL.

• Tyler Murphy needs to throw the ball more.

• Screw it, we’ll never be good enough for Notre Dame to admit we’re their rival.

• Hockey East refs are totallllly fair with their officiating of Steve Santini.

• Retire the gold sweaters.

• I eat sesame seed pretzels before every game and THEY ARE DELICIOUS.

• Luke Kuechly only makes garbage tackles.

• I wish Jon Hilliman had gone to Rutgers.

• Thatcher Demko sucks at life and goaltending. Sieve.

• I love the Conte Forum playlist.

• Oh baby, you, you don’t got what I need.

• Rhett makes Baldwin look lame.

• Union has a stronger hockey program than BC.

Featured Image by Graham Beck / Heights Senior Staff